28/12/2011

dear niahanara,

 

today, 28/12/2011 has been a great day 

 

 

 

 

 

well thankyou dear mister

 

 

my bus ticket to go back to segamat on sunday - check! weee~

alhamdulillah there's still a ticket left, fuhh

i have to take bus from terminal bersepadu selatan

normally i'll take bus from shah alam - segamat

but the ticket has sold out haihh

 

*kenapa tak beli awal-awal ain? 

kan dah kena bebel -.-

 

i was going to ask anyone to send me to segamat at first 

but then i remembered about tbs

berlambak kott bas kat sana -.-

thankyou for driving me there mister :D

 

then we go to kepala singa (sunway pyramid ) haha

damn i forgot my socks and gloves T.T

i really want to ice skate

we tawaf the sunway pyramid for a few times

with muka blurr tak tahu nak pergi mana

and with my nafsu nak shopping tapi-terpaksa-tahan-sebab-i'm-broke

stop at wendy's for lunch

then the TGV is full with peoples

and mister gendut awal-awal dah tak nak queue ahak!

 

ohh that cute-little-awesome-gorgeous-elmo that we saw,

 i want it! ngeehh XD

just kidding haha

(ohmyyy comelnya that elmo picture!)

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s; we keep all our promises, be us against the world :)

you!

dear niahanara,

to all of the peoples in my life

thankyou :DD

you brought colours 

in my life

love,

nurulainfarhana

past

memories and past are impossible to forget

but do everyone can really move on and leave everything behind?

leaving their past

just move on and keep looking forward

without any regret or having a feeling to return back

would anyone use anyone else to forget their past?

like using them just to show they already move on

and happy with their life

fake their feeling and play with others

could that actually happen?

and then end up realizing they are not move on and just leave to get back to their past

'oh i make a mistakes by leaving you'

'could you take me back?'

will that thing happen?

i don't know why but i have this odd-stupid-macam-nak-kena-sepak-feelings

it's not that i don't trust you but i'm confuse

i've asked you once about your past,

and i think you lied to me

why would you do that?

why?  

and that's make it's hard to really believe you

damn i hate this feeling!

i never feel this way for a long time

so please be honest with me okayy

i hate liars

p/s ; iloveyou!

empty.

it has been a while since the last time i updated my entry in here
busy with my life

a lot of things happened

great things and not-so-great things 

i'll update about that soon

but right now i feel sooo empty

it's like there's something missing in me

   

why do i feel that?

hm i don't know

p/s ; one week mid semester break start now! 

#sigh

dear niahanara,

behind my smiles and my laugh

and even my silly act,

there's a story you'll never know

there's pain i keep inside

there's sadness i hide inside

love,

nurulainfarhana

4.00 am

dear niahanara,

i can't sleep

why am i so emo-ing tonight?

#sigh + crying

why am i crying? haiyoo

i don't know why

but i want to cry my heart out

really really hard

and that's what i'm doing right now

my roommate gonna think that i'm crazy if she seeing me crying right now

crying without reason

just crying

but i'll feel a lot more better after i'm crying

that's usually happen

i'm listening to holes inside by joe brooks right now

being repeated a few times now

 

well, do i really satisfy with my life right now?

there's a decision to be make

and i'm still not sure about it

should i just go with the flow or what?

ohmyyy, this is hard

i'm really sure about this before, but now i'm blurr

why?

where's the out-going me?

hmm i don't know

there's a lot of things to be consider before i really make up my mind

really?

or it's just me that afraid of the future

will i be happy with my decision?

what if someday i feel like i'm not really sure?

or i might dissapoint someone in the future?

why is it so hard?

or maybe i'm just too geting used with my-alone-but-cool-life?

or past experience that still haunt me?

or maybe i'm afraid that i might make mistake?

there's a part of me that asking me to just go on with the flow,

but the other part of me are making so many excuses for me not to make decision

i'm sorry T_T

but i think i'm afraid that i might not be as good as your past

but past is past right?

what else to be afraid of nurulainfarhana?

haiyaaa --'

 

ohh i feel like crazy talking to myself now and crying at the same time haha!

but MAYBE if you ask the question again, i might give you my decision :)

i don't know what will happen in the future but right now please,

don't walk away from me :DD

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; gedik gilaa entry ni --' i'm sorry (nak post entry ni pun still kena berdebat dengan diri sendiri whether to post or not to post. ohh i'm pathetic T_T)

Yang Tidak Bisa Diucapkan Oleh Ayah

dear niahanara,

i read this article somewhere in someone's blog

i've read it before and cried,

i read it again and still cry T_T

well, seriously i'm really not that close with my abah

(but most of my family members said that i anak manja abah)

there's some family problems before

and i do admit that i've once hate him

yes, i'm a bad daughter

i really shouldn't felt that way

and i'm really regret that

i'm sorry abah, i love you!

what's written in the article really happen to me

and now i realize that my abah really love me

i really have to make him proud of me as his daughter

*i will abah!

i won't leave you until i've success in the future and give you and emak a comfort life

that's my promise to both of you

so here's the article :') 

there's my abah (susah nak cari gambar abah T_T)

Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri,yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya...Akan sering merasa rindu sekali dengan ibunya..Lalu bagaimana dengan AYAH?

Mungkin kerana ibu lebih sering menelefon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari, tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata ayah-lah yang mengingatkan ibu untuk menelefonmu?

Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, ibu-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng, tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sekembalinya ayah dr bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah ayah selalu menanyakan pada ibu tentang khabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?

Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil.Ayah biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik basikal .Dan setelah ayah mengganggapmu sudah boleh menunggangnya, ayah akan melepaskan roda bantu di basikalmu .Kemudian Ibu bilang : "Jangan dulu ayahnya, jangan ditanggalkan dulu roda bantunya", itu kerana ibu takut puteri manisnya akan terjatuh lalu terluka....

Tapi sedarkah dikau?Bahwa ayah dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu
mengayuh basikal dengan seksama kerana dia tahu puteri kecilnya PASTI mampu melakukannya.

Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta alat permainan yang baru, ibu menatapmu hiba.Tetapi ayah akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang" Tahukah kamu, ayah melakukan itu kerana ayah tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi.

Saat kamu ditimpa sakit , ayah lah yang terlalu khawatir sampai kekadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata : "Sudah di beritahu! kamu jangan minum air sejuk!".Berbeza dengan ibu yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.Ketahuilah, saat itu ayah benar-benar mengkhuatirkan keadaanmu..

Ketika kamu sudah beranjak muda remaja..Kamu mulai menuntut pada ayah untuk mendapat keizinan keluar malam, dan ayah bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!".Tahukah kamu, bahwa ayah melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?Kerana bagi ayah, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa
berharga..Setelah itu kamu marah pada ayah, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...

Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan memujukmu agar tidak marah adalah ayah.Tahukah kamu,bahwa saat itu ayah memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya, Bahwa ayah sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?

Ketika saat seorang teman lelaki mulai sering menelefonmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu,ayah akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :') ayah sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang berbuall berdua di ruang tamu..Sedarkah kamu, kalau hati ayah merasa cemburu?

Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan ayah melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.Maka yang dilakukan ayah adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khuatirdan bimbang.Dan setelah perasaan khuatir itu berlarut - larut.Ketika melihat puteri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati ayah akan mengeras dan memarahimu..Sedarkah kamu, bahwa ini kerana hal yang di sangat ditakuti ayah akan segera datang? "Bahwa puteri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkannya"

Setelah lulus SPM, Ayah akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Doktor atau Engineer. Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan ayah itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti.Tapi ayah tetap tersenyum dan menyokongmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan ayah.

Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa.Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain.ayah harus melepaskanmu di bandar.Tahukah kamu bahwa badan ayah terasa kaku untuk memelukmu? Ayah hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasihat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati.Padahal ayah ingin sekali menangis seperti ibu dan memelukmu erat-erat.Yang ayah lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".Ayah melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT....kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.

Disaat kamu kesempitan wang untuk membiayai perbelanjaan semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah ayah. Ayah pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya boleh merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain.Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekadar meminta alat mainan yang baru, dan ayah tahu ia tidak mampu memberikan apa yang kamu inginkan...

Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Ayah adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak boleh!" Padahal dalam batin Ayah, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti ayah belikan untukmu".Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Ayah merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?

Saatnya kamu berjaya sebagai seorang sarjana. Ayah adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.Ayah akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "puteri kecilnya yang
tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang" Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada ayah untuk mengambilmu darinya.Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..Kerana Ayah tahu.....Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.

Dan akhirnya....

Saat ayah melihatmu duduk di kerusi pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya mampu menggantikannya, Ayah pun tersenyum bahagia..Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu ayah pergi kebelakang pentas pelaminan sebentar, dan menangis? Ayah menangis karena ayah sangat berbahagia, kemudian ayah berdoa....Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Ayah berkata: "Ya Allah tugasku telah selesai dengan baik....Puteri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita solehah yang cantik....Bahagiakanlah dia bersama suaminya...rahmatilah kehidupan mereka Ya Allah"

Setelah itu Ayah hanya mampu menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih....Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....Ayah telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu.Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU MAMPU" dalam segala hal.. 

p/s; abah, i love you! :')

dear future boyfriend :D

dear niahanara,

the title is kinda weird haha

well, i think every girl have their dream guy

and the characteristics they should have

i don't have one but in case i find one in the future,

i would like my future boyfriend to have these below characteristics

ahak! *saya tengah berangan sambil tengok bulan XD

(1) first thing first, i really want a bestfriend-boyfriend which i can treat like bestfriend instead of just like a boyfriend

the one that i can share almost everything

making silly jokes, acting like crazy me without having to pretend to be someone else

it's cool right?

i hate it when i have to act cute infront of my boyfriend

or he's trying to act macho

haiyoo, come on laa

tak fun langsung -.-

(2) i've always wanted a tough boyfriend

the one that looks like Salman Khan hahaha!

ohh that's impossible

but i kinda like the idea-him makes me feel secure whenever i'm around him

but it's okay if i don't get one ^^,

(3) i want a boyfriend that can play music, and sings for me

aww! that will make me melt

(4) next, i wish i can have a boyfriend that love hindustan like i do ;DD

ehemm, i'm a hindustan lover and i can sing the song

so, wouldn't it be nice if we can watch it together? wee~

(5) i really want a romantic boyfriend

but not jiwang type

puhlisss

he have to be romantic in certain situation

propose me in a romantic way

kat taman bunga ke, sing a song ke haha

tapi bukan lelaki kuat merajuk yang mengada okayy

i really don't know how to pujuk peoples

and i hate it, i'm sorry --'

(6) he have to treat my family like his own family
that's really important because i choose my family first before anyone else :)

(7) treat my friends like his own friends
i choose my friends after my family because they're really important to me
i hate it when my boyfriend can't get along and lepak with my friends
or talk bad thing about them
annoya tahu? haha

(8) not smoking!
ohh i really didn't like it when guys smoking infront of me
my abah is a smoker too and it's effect his health
so i don't want my future love's one to be a smoker
that's really unacceptable okayy

(9) i want a patient boyfriend
the one that didn't get mad easily
soft-hearted and loving hehe :D
cause i'm kinda hot tempered sometimes and i piss off peoples a lot of time
so i want the opposite of me so we wouldn't fight all the time ahak!

(10) i love it when i feel pretty anytime i'm around my boyfriend
even if i'm not pretty at all
but i want him to treat me like i'm the only girl around and make me proud of myself
without having to think twice about my appearance
i love it also if my boyfriend makes me feel proud of him whenever i'm around him
that i won't feel ashame or whatever

(11)i love shopping and go on vacation
so i want my boyfriend to accompany me without any complain
and tanpa paksaan
there's a lot of place that i want to go ;DD

(12) i really want a future boyfriend that can accept my attitudes and the way i am
i think i'm a complicated person
and hard to predict haha
i kuat merajuk, that's what others say
i'm pampered, that's also what others say including my family
am i? haha
i'm a headstrong person
i jenis yang degil and kadang-kadang susah dengar pendapat orang lain
ohh i'm an outspoken person
ada orang pernah kata i ni mulut puaka haha
i'm really sorry if i've talk bad about you
what else? haha :DD

ohh enough of merepek nurulainfarhana

well, if there's any prince charming out there that accidently read this,
do consider me as your future girlfriend hahaha XDD
i'm a day dreamer -.-

love,
nurulainfarhana

life :)

dear niahanara,

 

i read this 11 things in life and kinda like it

so i post it here :)

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, 

 you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

so basically, just live your life to the fullest and fill it with every happiness in the world. smile and have fun :DD

 

p/s ; copy and paste from 'Quotes Factory'

5 december

dear niahanara,

i'm still in the fever mood #sigh

i get mc for today

so i just lying on my bed with mr.lembu

i have to swallow a lot of pills

haiyooo

that's really scary

and i sleep macam orang pengsan the whole day

because of the ubat batuk

i'm sleepy a few minutes after i drink it and fall asleep right after that

is it a drug or what? --"

i really wish my emak is here T_T

i really miss her sobs

hope i'll get well soon

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; thanks izy for accompanied me to the Penawar. get well soon to you too :)

dear niahanara,

well, i guess you wouldn't know it forever right?

wouldn't realise it at all

not even a bit

it's okay, really

love,

nurulainfarhana

straightforward!

dear niahanara,

i heard that word soo many times today

you have to tell the others what you feel or else they wouldn't know it forever

how would you know if you never ask?

we can't simply guess what others feel without asking them

you have to be straightforward, not keep things to yourself

haiyooo~

it's easy said than done

what if i didn't get the respond that i want?

i know it'll be a lot more easier if i'm being straightforward,

but there's certain thing that you really have to consider before let it out

or you'll regret it forever

so i think the best way now is,

just follow the flow (Y)

 

ohh by the way,

i think the other girl might like you

i can see it :)

don't break her heart if it's true that she like you

and don't give her false hope like the one that you give me

(i always comes up with a lot of my-own-not-so-true-conclusion, i'm sorry --")

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; why do i mention about you again? #sigh

go away!

dear niahanara,

 

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

 

 

i woke up this morning and realised that odd feeling is still there

(i know it wouldn't disappear that fast but at least please decrease)

#sigh

the more i try to throw it away,

the more it come

and the more i think about you

everytime everywhere

why do you do this to me?

just go away

i'm trying to move on in here!

i don't like you!

love,

nurulainfarhana

thankyou!

dear niahanara,

i've give up i think

yesss! give up from this feeling

give up to let you know my feeling

give up from giving you damn hint everyday

give up my hope for you

 

it's useless

you'll never know and never realise

i know i should've tell you, but i'm a girl

how ridiculous it'll be if i'm the one who confess to you --'

i gave you a lot of hint

my facebook status, the way i treated you and etc

how shameless i am trying to tell you what i feel inside

how shameless i am telling the world what i feel

but you never notice it

and i hope you won't notice it forever

because i'm ashame

ashame of everything i've done

 

how pathetic i am!

i wonder what others think about me T_T

i'm not that desperate

that's for sure

so let it be for now

i'll try deleting my feeling

go on with your friendly world

i'm just a pathetic girl that didn't understand your world

i'm sorry because i've talk bad about you,

just in case you finally realise this is for you

don't feel awkward

just treat me like you used to

there's a lot more girls out there for you

i can see it

from the way you treat people, you'll get more

but you're not a playboy

don't worry, you'll find someone to replace her someday :DD

i'll be doing just fine here

one day i'll wake up and this feeling will disappear forever

 

actually, i'm kinda confuse what i really feel ahak!

so i'll just get over it :DD

 

thankyou for everything

you always make me laugh and smile

you really light up my world when it's get dark

you were there when i need someone the most

you were there when i'm in the middle of life crisis to cheer me up

so thankyou, really appreciate that

hope there's no more thought about you 

or a facebook status updated for you 

or a blog entry for you

no more mister! :)

but i really don't know what i should do when you finally realise this is for you

should i be happy or ashame of myself? #sigh

so long and bon voyage

i'm a tough girl okayy!

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; pleaseee don't ask this entry is for whom again. it's annoying when i can't answer it's for you! haiyooo hahaha

december!

dear niahanara,

hello DECEMBER! 

*warm hug and a big smile :DD 

may you bring all the happiness in this world for me

insyaallah

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; just get over it nurulainfarhana. let bygone be bygone :)

if only you know !

dear niahanara,

this entry is for you :)

i know it'll sound stupid but i really wish you know it's for you

i'm not the jiwang type (hell no)

but i'm just trying to confess what i fell inside

i don't know why, but i think i have this odd feeling for you

which i really want to get rid 

it's really annoying and i don't want it to be there

please go away

stop hurting me

it's not funny when you give false hope to me

stop doing that

don't act like you care when i know you never care

i won't let you know

ever!

because you will laugh at me

i know :)

this will sound stupid to you

and mean nothing to you

how stupid i am to have this feeling

like seriously?

me, nurulain farhana? 

#sigh

i wish i can turn back time when i don't even know you ever exist

back when i never make you as part of my life

i wish i can delete you now and forever!

because you'll never realise about me

you're too busy with your life

and i'm just one of your friend :)

if only you know what i feel

but you won't

you couldn't even see it

even if it's right in front of your eyes

you're too busy with the one that's not even yours

i wish i can slap you right at your face and tell you what i really feel

but i'm too weak to do that

and i'm scare of rejection

stop make me hoping that you'll like me back

maybe this is just some feeling that will somehow disappear soon

i'm a tough girl!

yes i am

so i'll get through this

this is just some rubbish that will be thrown away someday :)

no need to worry

go on with your life

i'll do the same with my life

but don't regret what you've done to me

cause karma will somehow make you pay

and at that time, you'll feel the same way i feel

but believe me, i really do like you :)

you're stupid because you didn't realise that!

yes you are!

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; stop thinking about your past, there's nothing you can do about that!