4.00 am

dear niahanara,

i can't sleep

why am i so emo-ing tonight?

#sigh + crying

why am i crying? haiyoo

i don't know why

but i want to cry my heart out

really really hard

and that's what i'm doing right now

my roommate gonna think that i'm crazy if she seeing me crying right now

crying without reason

just crying

but i'll feel a lot more better after i'm crying

that's usually happen

i'm listening to holes inside by joe brooks right now

being repeated a few times now

 

well, do i really satisfy with my life right now?

there's a decision to be make

and i'm still not sure about it

should i just go with the flow or what?

ohmyyy, this is hard

i'm really sure about this before, but now i'm blurr

why?

where's the out-going me?

hmm i don't know

there's a lot of things to be consider before i really make up my mind

really?

or it's just me that afraid of the future

will i be happy with my decision?

what if someday i feel like i'm not really sure?

or i might dissapoint someone in the future?

why is it so hard?

or maybe i'm just too geting used with my-alone-but-cool-life?

or past experience that still haunt me?

or maybe i'm afraid that i might make mistake?

there's a part of me that asking me to just go on with the flow,

but the other part of me are making so many excuses for me not to make decision

i'm sorry T_T

but i think i'm afraid that i might not be as good as your past

but past is past right?

what else to be afraid of nurulainfarhana?

haiyaaa --'

 

ohh i feel like crazy talking to myself now and crying at the same time haha!

but MAYBE if you ask the question again, i might give you my decision :)

i don't know what will happen in the future but right now please,

don't walk away from me :DD

love,

nurulainfarhana

p/s ; gedik gilaa entry ni --' i'm sorry (nak post entry ni pun still kena berdebat dengan diri sendiri whether to post or not to post. ohh i'm pathetic T_T)