In my brain I see your face again.

No ceramic heater
no sleeping bag
no thermal wear
beats your warm embrace
No scotch fingers
dipped in hot chocolate
could compare to you
could compare to you 

Right in the middle
of that frozen aisle
witnessed by trolleys,
milk, yogurts
and cheese
With a ring, you promised
to stay by my side
no matter how many
maladies
shoot me from the sky
And I pledged
to age with you
till I die 

 You by Wani Ardy

**

I'm pathetic and i'm sorry.
I'm too much for you to handle.
I'm complicated.
I'm selfish.
I'm torn on the inside.
I'm always overthinking.
Assuming things.
Insecure.

But I just want your attention, all of your love.
To be able to feel that i'm the only one, i'm the one you really love and you're proud of that.
I just want to feel special, to feel appreciated. 
To feel that you really want me, that you're happy with me.
To not feel insecure.
I want you to tell the whole world that i'm yours.
I want people to know that you're mine.
I want you to be there and comfort me everytime i'm mad or sulking or wanted an attention.
Pujuk me, not leave me and do nothing.
Not just sit there with total silent.
It break my heart.
It's like i'm troubling you and you don't seem to bother at all.

'Awak nak buat perangai awak tu, go ahead.'
It hurt on the inside.
I just want to feel loved. 

To call you and talk, a long talk. Bukan silent and 'ada apa lagi nak cakap?'
I'm bothering you am I?
Macam tak suka langsung nak bercakap. 
Nak cerita apa pun kena fikir banyak kali sebab you don't seem to bother or have any interest.
Dari dulu.
Merajuk, pujuk diri sendiri.

To talk to you about everything.
About yourself.
About your life.
Anything.
Anything at all.

Sakit.
Dan penat.
 
It's the same thing over and over.
Pujuk and be there. 
That's all.