I don't quite know how to say how I feel.

assalamualaikum w.b.t

dear niahanara,

Berlawan dengan perasaan sendiri boleh membunuh.

love,

nurulainfarhana

Why am I doing this to myself?

assalamualaikum w.b.t

dear niahanara,

                  
 Jessie J-Who you are.

' Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising.'

love,
nurulainfarhana 

Loneliness.

assalamualaikum w.b.t

dear niahanara,

 

Background: Coldplay-Fix You

 

 When you try your best but you don't succeed  

When you get what you want but not what you need  

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  

Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face  

When you lose something you can't replace  

When you love someone but it goes to waste 

Could it be worse?

 

*pause*

 

***

 

I've learn that no matter how much you smile, 

how much you laugh,

how hard you tried to hide how you really feel inside, 

it will eventually be useless in the end.

Fake smiles on the outside,

miserable and sad in the inside,

that tearing every part of your heart.

 

No matter how much you tried to fit in,

you will eventually failed in the end.

Because you're just another stranger and unimportant person who happen to be there.

Who happen to laugh and smile with them.

How many of them who really accept you?

 *insert sarcastic smile*

Accept you among them.

At the very end, you are still a stranger.

 

A stranger who try very hard everyday to put a smile.

 To fit in.

Unimportant person who try to make herself important to the people around.

Unimportant person who feel she was all alone.

Unimportant person who tried to be friend with everyone who will eventually left her for their bestfriend

and not even remember that she was there, wanting to feel important too.

Unimportant person who in the end sit alone in her room,

alone with just herself.

And thinking on how unimportant she is to the people around. 

 

 “Loneliness in a crowd of people was the worst kind of loneliness, but she couldn't help it.”

-Lauren Kate, Torment-

 

 “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” 

-Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper-

 

love,

nurulainfarhana

Allah, berikan aku segala kekuatanMu.

assalamualaikum w.b.t

dear niahanara,

Hidup.

Ada duri, ada ranjau.

Ada masa kau gembira.

Ada masa kau derita.

Kau diuji.

Bertalu-talu.

Sehingga robek hatimu.

Jatuh, bangun, tersungkur.

Kau sendiri dalam ramai.

Kau senyum dalam perit.

Sunyi.

Pedih.

Allahuakbar.

love,

nurulainfarhana

DenganMu aku hidup.

assalamualaikum w.b.t

dear niahanara,

Bila ujian dan dugaan datang bertimpa-timpa,

dan kau rasa lemah,

jatuh,

sedih,

menangis.

Ingat, Allah sentiasa ada.

Berat manapun dugaan, 

Allah tak akan duga kalau kau tak mampu hadapi.

love,

nurulainfarhana